Hello Lucerne Valley! Been a while since we’ve chatted and I understand calls have been made to the Leader and I have had call also. Flattered you are entertained with my feeble attempts to make you smile. Keep those calls coming! I am grateful to both of you.
I’m writing now because excitement is building as we get close to the 14th Annual Great American Worm Race. The race will be run on May 2nd this year and the phone lines are buzzing. Many of the calls are cries for help in the matter of transportation to Lucerne Valley. The 2013 Nationals were held in Boston and so many of the racers and their families are having a difficult time getting out because of the terrible weather conditions. Some were able to make the dining car on Amtrak but many more are stranded. If you have any friends or family members coming this way please let the Commission know. All we ask is that they carry a bucket of fertilizer in the rear seat where it will be warm. The occupants are able to pay up to three cents per worm and promise potty stops will not be necessary. If you can help, let the Commission know ASAP.
The month before the race is the busiest time for the Commission. We will be meeting on a daily basis finalizing training schedules, talking with site managers, setting up drug testing and last but not least, finding housing for the families of the racers. They are our guests and we want to make them as comfortable as possible. In the past we simply called locals and sent the family where we knew they would be welcomed. Since we have become a National Sanctioned Race we are required to follow strict guidelines. If you would like to be a Worm Family Host we have a 20 page application we will send you. Once that has been received in Washington DC we will proceed with the blood work and background check. Only the first 200 applications can be accepted.
We have had many requests re housing and have fortunately filled some of the special needs. Evidently Sharon Ravenstien and Red Talle are using Alpaca Poo on their gardens this and word reached the worm community in Boston. Seems this indicates a five star rating and requests to stay with them were granted on a first come first serve basis. Sharon has agreed to take four families and Red can accommodate three. Red recently planted a number of tomato plants and some of the parents of young female worms are concerned his tomato worms will be a threat by race time. Rest assured, security will be watching this situation closely.
We are sorry to report we will not be using The Hart House this year for housing or activities. In past years Woody and Pam generously provided a number of worms and families accommodations that were lovely and well received. They undoubtedly have the best manure in town but last year there was a problem.
Several of the family members housed there came down with ‘chicken pecks’ and had to be rushed to town for medical treatment. As you know, the health and well-being of our racers and their families is our primary concern. The ‘chicken pecks’ were not serious and left no scars but we cannot use The Hart House while the chickens are still in residence. Furthermore, when at the feed store getting the medical aid for the ‘chicken peck’ victims, we were told that Obama Care did not cover the cost for those injuries. The Commission cannot be expected to pick up those added expenses.
We are sending Woody a booklet prepared by WAA (Worm Abuse Association) outlining anger management classes for those chickens with attitudes. We hope this will be helpful.
Next time we will be discussing the rules and regulations for a successful training camp and some of the activities planned for the children. Be sure and get your sponsorship in to the Roadrunners. Sponsoring a worm costs $10 and the worm cannot go to camp until he has a name. We will provide the running shoes and team colors. Don’t miss out on the fun! Remember, this is the Cultural Event of the Year for Lucerne Valley!!
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Jo Richards is a longtime Lucerne Valley resident who muses about life in this bi-weekly column. The name of the column comes from something Jo often says after telling an anecdote: “That’s Chapter 14 in the book I’m gonna write!” Email her at fishbait1933@yahoo.com with questions or comments.